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20th-May-2006 04:29 am(no subject)
It feels good to see people who are going through the same battles that I am with my weight and the way people see you. The bad thing is that I feel like im the biggest failure of all. Everybody is way smaller than me and it makes me to ashamed to post me weight. Im 5"11 and weight 227lbs and theres nobody as big as me that can relate. I use to weigh 260 so I came a long way but Its just not good enough. I need more thinspiration. I have no control over my life what so ever. Me and my bf's relationship is going dwn the drain, I cant keeep a job and Im fat as fuck. Thinking about trying out drugs too supress my appettite.
26th-Oct-2005 02:04 am - No life
I have not been here in a few days. Very busy job hunting and sleeping. Only good thing about that is that it keeps me from eating.
Im on my third day of fasting now. wish me the best. I never went 4 days b4 so I need extra will power today. I was thinking about taking some sleeping pills and going to sleep that way I dont eat. Maybe I will try to eat in my dreams lol (a new way of cheating lol)
23rd-Oct-2005 03:51 am - Ready for the new me!!!
Well today I just decided as of monday im going to start my fasting. Which will go on for 3 days. I know I can do it. I really suck when it come to my will power. I know it would be a little easier to lose weight if I lived on my own. That day will soon come until I just need to focus on keeping busy so that I dont eat. Mon-wed I will be job hunting, which reminds me, I have to get the sunday paper today so that I can start my resume faxing. Today I really want to eat a nice breakfast since that will be the end of any good fulfilling meals until I reach my goal.
I currently weight 227.5lbs.
My short term goal is 215lbs by 11/13/05. Not sure If thats enough or too much time but it sounds fair in my head.
My long term goal is 180lbs.
Never been that then but it sounds nice.
Its sad but the lowest I ever remember weighing is 210 and that was in 10th grade. Ive alway been fat and pathetic I need a change, a new life. I want to be wanted and loved.
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